Step 2 – Who is Running Your Show?
In Step One, I spoke about paying attention to your thoughts. This is actually an essential first step to effect lasting positive change. Becoming conscious of your unconscious thoughts, the thoughts that have become habitual and thus help to create your personality is vital.
Once you become conscious of your thoughts and tap to interrupt them, what’s the next step that can assist you with true lasting change?
I believe the next helpful step is to figure out, whose running your show.
What do I mean by this?
I’m the type of person who can complicate a potato chip, which means it’s better for me to keep it simple. I think, this is better for most people, but that’s just me.
I’ve broken it down this way:
- You have an Inner Bully or the Bully in Your Brain as I like to refer to it. This is the inner voice that is the culmination of all the critic authority figures in your life growing up. Anyone in your life that had authority over you, who was critical of you is included. When you start to pay attention to your thoughts, you’ll notice that there is a voice that is constantly critical. (It’s the one that has an opinion about EVERYTHING, and expresses this opinion constantly.
- You have what I call the Dismissed Child or Wounded Child. You’ve likely heard of the Inner Child….same thing. Whenever you feel a strong emotional charge or you get triggered and you’re emotional sky rocketing into the stratosphere, you can bet you baked good, this is your little kid within.
- You have your Inner Knower. Your Healthy Adult Self, the one whose wise, capable, competent, confident that knows…..”I got this.”
The first time I heard about “Parts Work” and getting in touch with all of our inner voices, I guarantee you it was an eye rolling moment for me. I’m certain I made the cuckoo bird sign as I rolled my eyes and muttered “Nutso Cuckoo” under my breath.
I have to admit, I find this incredibly effective when paying attention to my thoughts, to notice whose running my show, because it helps me to begin to release my identifying with my thoughts.
When you identify with your thoughts, you are your thoughts and thus you attach to them and when you identify with your thoughts you’ll hear yourself saying things like…..
- “I’m a mess.”
- “I’m a basketcase.”
- “I’m neurotic.”
- “I don’t have what it takes.”
I’ve personally never experienced any statements like these to feel good.
When you begin to notice your thoughts without attaching to them, you begin to find emotional freedom and to thus begin to open the doorway to positive lasting change. This is really quite liberating but like everything. Don’t believe me. Check it out for yourself and see what you think.
So simply put. How do you know whose running your show?
- The Bully – Any critical thought.
- The Child – Any high emotionally charged feelings
- Inner Knower – Any competent, capable, centered, detached humor about yourself thoughts.
Here’s to You!!
Marti