How Knowing What You Don’t Want Can Help You
Have you ever had anyone ask you what you want and you notice you start rattling off a list of what you don’t want? Or maybe you haven’t noticed this.
So let’s try it right now? Grab a piece of paper and pen.
Here goes:
What do you want?
Notice what comes to mind. Maybe you are able to write clearly what you want. That’s great.
If you look like something resembling a deer in headlights, with this question, it’s nice to know I’m in good company. That’s how I have often looked. That was followed by someone either pointing out to me that I seemed to be very clear about what I don’t want, but pretty clueless as to what I wanted. Then that awareness was followed by massive self-judgement. I felt like a loser.
When I heard that knowing what you don’t want is great, because it shows you contrast and from that you can discover what you do want, I about fainted. All the years, of self judgment I could have saved myself.
Damn!! Oh wait! That’s self-judgement.
It’s been a relief to know that being clear on what you don’t want is an important first step to discovering what you do want.
If you add tapping into this equation, I actually think you’re one step closer to finding your super powers for effectively changing your life for the better once and for all.
Here is a document called The Getting Clarity Worksheet. I keep copies of this handy and use them when I feel unclear or stuck about something.
I highly recommend you start with this sheet, when you find yourself not knowing where to begin with an issue you’re struggling with.
There’s a space for writing the subject you want to work on, so you can use this sheet for many different topics.
Pick a topic. Since it’s just after the holidays, let me use your health as an example.
Let’s say you overindulged during the holidays and you’re carrying some extra weight. Use this sheet and on the left side, just brain dump. Write out everything you Don’t Want.
I don’t want to be carrying this extra 10 pounds. ~ I don’t want to feel like the blob I feel like. ~ I don’t want to put on my clothes and feel how much tighter they are. ~ I don’t want to feel this panic when I do.
Just keep going until you run out of things to write down.
Now go to the right side of the page and right all the things you Do Want. Here’s the beauty of this exercise. If you don’t know what you want, just write the opposite of what you wrote on the Don’t Want side. This makes it really easy.
Once you’ve done this, this is where you can add tapping in.
Look at each items and it’s opposite.
For example:
I Don’t Want these extra 10 pounds | I Do Want to release these 10 pounds.
Now looking at both, ask yourself,
How possible does it feel that I can release these 10 pounds?
Using the 0 – 10 Scale 0 = Not at all possible 10 = Totally possible
Right your number down.
Now say this:
It’s impossible to release these 10 pounds.
Using the same scale rate how possible it feels.
I find it’s really good to ask this both ways. It can show you if you have a major conflict.
Let’s say you rate both ways as a 5. This would indicate you have a pretty polarizing conflict. These two thoughts are carrying equal weight for you which will keep you feeling very stuck.
I’d recommend you Argue Tapping on:
It’s Impossible to release these 10 pounds. ~ It’s Totally Possible to release these 10 pounds.
And just keep using these two statements tapping back and forth between them until you feel a shift or even better you might start to laugh about it. It begins to feel silly. You’re bringing your inner conflict out into the open into your conscious awareness which is where you have the power to change this.
Argue tapping really helps to break-up an inner conflict by interrupting the neuropathway and it also trains the brain to follow a negative statement with a positive statement.
This closes the gap between what feels possible and what doesn’t feel possible.
Use the Don’t Want list as your roadmap on what to tap on and using the rating system between the two opposites to notice how wide the gap is between what feels possible and then tap to close this gap.
The Getting Clarity Worksheet is a really effective tool to help you figure out what to tap on and thus get clarity on what you Do Want which over time will get you closer to receiving that which you desire.
Click here to get your Getting Clarity Worksheet.
Here’s to You!!!
Marti